The Classic: Victoria Sponge

Since I'm pretending to be British and all, it was really becoming a necessity that I bake a Victoria Sponge.

Just to prove that I can bluff my way into being considered a "kind of Brit."

Cue the cake party....

Victoria Sponge

• 250g butter, softened
• 250g caster sugar
• 4 medium eggs
• 2 tsp vanilla extract
• 250g cake/self-raising flour
• dash milk (I used whole, but you can use anything)
• good quality jam
• ready-made whipped cream or double-cream, to whip

'Cream' together the butter and sugar.  This is a fancy way of saying 'beat the crap out of that.'

Add the flour 100g at a time, using a folding maneuver to incorporate it into the butter/sugar mix.  Be patient.  Slow and steady wins the race (only this time).

Now that is some stellar batter consistency.

Line two 8-inch cake tins with baking parchment, and grease the sides.  Do your best to distribute the batter evenly into the two tins.  I swear this is the toughest part of this entire recipe.

Maybe I'm just portion-challenged.

Anyway.

Pop them in the oven at 180C/350F for 20 minutes.  Make sure they're on the same rack, and turn them halfway through cooking to ensure equal browning of the tops.

They're done when you push the top and it springs back, or when a fork piercing the center comes out clean.

Let them cool on wire racks.  Admire your beautiful cake stand, given to you by Caius rowing ladies.

Drool if you have to.

When they're cool, add the jam generously, leaving a one inch gap from the side.  Seriously, though, if they're not cool, you will fail as I did and all will melt approximately 20 minutes after assembly, and one will be forced to remake this at another time.  Depressing.

Spoon on your whipped cream.  Again, leave a one inch gap.  When you smoosh your top layer on, you don't want a weeping whipped cream cake.

Carefully add the top layer.

Admire.

Eat damn soon, or put somewhere cool.  Mine melted like it was in Mordor, so do ensure your kitchen is cool and your cakes are likewise chill!

I didn't take a picture of the hilariously melty blob.  Don't worry, though - it still tasted delicious.

Happy British baking!

Raspberry Chocolate Cake

At the request of very manly rowers, I bring you: Raspberry Chocolate Cake.

This cake is best eaten after working out profusely.

Raspberry Chocolate Cake

The Cake
Recipe adapted from BBC Food

• 100g unsalted butter
• 150g light soft brown sugar
• 100g caster sugar
• 50ml/2fl oz sunflower oil
• 30g cocoa
• 2 tsp vanilla extract
• 4 medium eggs
• 100ml/3.5fl oz thick double cream
• 300g cake flour
• 3 tsps baking powder
• 1/2 bar Divine 70% Dark Chocolate And Raspberries

The Filling

• 200ml/7fl oz thick double cream
• 100g cream cheese
• 1/2 bar Divine 70% Dark Chocolate And Raspberries
• 20g icing sugar
• handful dessicated coconut
• 2 punnets fresh raspberries

Let's get started.

Pre-heat your oven to 180C/350F.  Melt the butter in a saucepan (or microwave... I know some of us like to roll student-style), and add sugars, oil, cocoa, and vanilla.  Mix thoroughly.  Make sure it is still hot (not boiling), and add in 1/2 bar of Divine Chocolate and Raspberry bar.  It's easiest to break up this 1/2 bar into little pieces, so they melt quicker.  Stir until batter is smooth.

When batter is smooth, add the eggs.  Beat well.  Mix in the double cream and baking soda.  Finally, add the flour in small increments, to prevent lumps.  If you have a flour sifter, this is a great time to use it.  As a poor rogue University student, I do not.  But, life goes on.  

The batter should be thick, but easily flowing off the spoon.

Bake for 30 minutes covered with foil, then another 20 minutes uncovered.  Remove and let cool.  Slice in half once cool.

For the icing, again heat the double cream.  Break the other 1/2 of the Divine bar into pieces, and stir until thoroughly incorporated.  Add a handful of raspberries to the still-heated mixture - mash them with your stirring spoon, and mix well.  When the mixture has slightly cooled, add the 100g of cream cheese and handful of desiccated coconut.  Blend well, then stick in the fridge for 30 minutes to solidify.  

You've sliced your chocolate cake in half.  Hopefully better than I have.  I seem to have a nice little slope at one end... but don't you worry, we'll hide that.

Spoon the icing onto the bottom slice, starting from the middle and working outwards.  Stop about 1/2 inch from the edge.  

Get bad with your creative self and add those raspberries.  

Smoosh the top slice as elegantly as possible onto the bottom.

Dust icing sugar over top.

Unfortunately, my cake had to be heaved delicately placed back into its metal cooking tin, in order to be transported to the boathouse.  But I'm sure yours will look oh-so-much-better sitting out in the open.

Raspberry peek-a-boo!

Edit: Made this cake at 6:30PM.  Realized that I had frosting on my forehead at 10:30PM.  For the win.

French Almond Cake

I've had a bag of almond flour sitting in my cupboard waiting for the right recipe...

It was time.  

French Almond Cake

• 110g unsalted butter, melted
• 120g caster sugar 
• 3 large eggs, beaten
• 90g ground almonds (almond powder/almond flour/almond meal)
• 40g all purpose flour
• 2/3 teaspoon baking powder
• 1 tablespoon milk (any type)
• 1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract 
• Optional: 1 tablespoon flaked almonds for sprinkling
• Icing sugar for dusting

Recipe inspiration: here.

Almond Buttercream Icing

• 25g unsalted butter
• 3 tablespoons milk (any type)
• 1 teaspoon almond extract
• 1 teaspoon cinnamon
• 150g powdered/icing sugar

Makes an 8" cake.

--

Pre-heat your oven to 180C.

Begin by melting the butter (about 50 seconds in the microwave), then add the milk and eggs.  Mix well.  Add the vanilla extract and baking powder.  Add the almond flour, stir well, then add in the all purpose flour.

Grease your cake tin, and pour in the mixture.  

Lick the spoon.

Bake for 15min, then cover the top with foil.  Bake for another 20 - 25minutes.  

It's done when you insert a fork into the middle and it comes out clean.  Let it cool, then either dust with icing sugar or ice with almond buttercream icing!

Optional, but recommended: let giant rowers devour entire cake.

Oatmeal Walnut Cake with Date Caramel

So.  I wanted to make some good ole fashioned oatmeal cookies.  But... my cookie sheet had gone missing. No surprises, there.  I only had a round tin available... cue the CAKE!

Or, well, cookie-esque, dense cake.  With delicious topping.

Oatmeal Walnut Cake with Date Caramel

The Cake

• 2/3 cup unsalted butter (~150g) - thinking you could also do half butter, half greek yogurt.. will need to try.
• 2/3 cup light soft brown sugar
• 2 eggs
• 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
• 2 cups all-purpose flour
• 1 teaspoon baking soda
• 1 teaspoon salt
• 1.5 teaspoons cinnamon
• 3 cups jumbo/large oats (ie, not the porridge kind)
• handful of crushed walnuts

Date Caramel

• 3 handfuls of dates, stoned (I used Whitworths)
• 1/2 cup milk (you may need more/less.  Will describe later)
• 2 tablespoons of light soft brown sugar
• 1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract

--

Preheat your oven to 190C/350F.  Melt your butter in the microwave, then add the flour, brown sugar, salt, cinnamon, baking soda and vanilla.  Stir in the eggs.  Add the oats and walnuts last, making sure to distribute them evenly into the mixture.

Grease your round cake tin before pouring in the mixture.  Place the cake in the oven for roughly 30 minutes.

Pre-icing...

As the cake cooks, make your date caramel!

I had never done this before, so it was mostly a shot in the dark... but it seemed to work well!  Heat a small saucepan on low-to-medium heat, adding 1/4 cup of the milk, the sugar, vanilla and all of the dates.  When it comes to the boil, lower the heat slightly and begin stirring every few seconds.  The dates will begin to soften, at which point you can begin 'smooshing' them with the back of your spoon, thus making the mixture much thicker and smoother.  The dates can't be entirely smooshed, so you will have a few date bits hanging around, but I personally think that's even better!  Continue adding the milk until you reach your desired consistency.  Remove from heat and let cool.

When the cake is semi-cooled, feel free to frost it with your caramel!

Oatmeal cake, pre-icing

As you can see, I also added a bit of desiccated coconut on top for flare...

This buddy should feed a small army.  Or, 8 ravenous individuals.

This cake was a true hit with my rowing comrades.  Three cheers for cake!

Sugar Rush

I apologize if this recipe gives any of you early-onset diabetes or, in a slightly less serious case, a raging sugar high.

I'm really only half sorry though, cause these are worth it.

Cue American cinnamon rolls!  These babies don't really exist here.  Sure, there's Cinnabon (the ooey-gooey, heart attack bit of heaven), but in general, most Brits think of the "cinnamon roll" as being more danish-like.  I don't like those flat danishes.  Where's the doughy fun?  Okay, so I do have a dough obsession, but let's be honest - who doesn't?

Overnight Cinnamon Rolls

The Dough

• 1/2 cup milk of your choice (I used almond milk, actually)
• 1/6 cup unsalted butter
• 2 teaspoons dry active yeast
• 1/4 cup granulated sugar
• 2 3/4 cup all purpose flour
• 1/2 teaspoon salt
• 2 medium eggs

The Filling

• 1/2 cup soft, light brown sugar
• 1 1/2 tablespoons of cinnamon
• 1 1/2 tablespoons of flour
• 3 1/2 tablespoons of butter, room temperature

The Icing

• 3/4 cup powdered sugar
• 1/4 cup granulated sugar
• 1/8 cup butter, melted
• 1 tablespoon milk (add more to make it thinner)
• 1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract
• dash salt

This recipe made about 8 rolls, I think.  I used a 9" round pan.

You can also these babies with a cream cheese icing, if you have that on hand.  Equally delicious.

--

In a small sauce-pan, melt the 1/6 cup butter and 1/2 cup milk over medium heat.  

Remove from heat right as it comes to a boil.  In the mean time, in a medium/large bowl, combine 1.5 cups flour and all of the sugar, salt and yeast.  Combine.  Crack in the two eggs; mix well.  

Pour the now lukewarm milk/butter mixture overtop and mix well.  It will be quite wet at this stage.  Start adding the remaining 1.5 cups of flour into the mixture, half a cup at a time.  When it came to add in the last half cup, I discarded the mixing spoon and dove in with my hands... knead away!  Knead until smooth - about 5 minutes.

Let that dough rest in the bowl for 10 minutes.  In the meantime, make your delightful filling.  Combine the filling ingredients in a small bowl, cutting the tablespoons of butter into small pieces.  

Flour your workspace.  Plop the dough onto the surface and begin to punch it into a large rectangle.  I don't do that rolling pin thing... why roll when you have a great excuse to punch things?  Not even a question.

Spread the filling mixture evenly, leaving about an inch of space around the outside of the doughy rectangle.  

Now comes the fun part.  ROLL BABY ROLL.  Make the first roll a very small one, to pinch in the end, and then gently tug/roll until you have one large log.  (I have just realized that "log" might be the most unappetizing word, ever...)

Be smarter than me and actually use a sharp knife to cut the log into segments (you could get 6 large rolls, or about 8 medium rolls).  I couldn't find one and had to opt for a butter knife, which made a lot of the filling go everywhereeeeeeeee.  But that's okay, I just smooshed all of that brown sugary goodness back onto the top of the rolls.  Like a boss.

Place the rolls into a greased 9" round pan, cut-side-up.  

Cover in cling film and place in the fridge overnight.  Now you have to wait.  Probably the longest night of your life.

Alarm goes off.  

Take the cinnamon rolls out of the fridge.  They should've risen a fair bit.  Remove the plastic wrap and place on the counter for about 30 minutes.  I know, I'm pretty much a villain for making you wait so much.

Preheat your oven to 190C/375F.  Bake 'em for about 20 minutes, or until golden brown.  While they're baking, mix up your diabetes-inducing icing.  Melt your butter, then stir in the rest of the ingredients, leaving the milk for last.  Keep adding milk until you have your desired consistency.

Remove cinnamon rolls and immediately douse in icing.  Mmmmmmmmm melty goodness.  Eat them now.  Don't wait.  Are you insane?!

You don't want the nutrition information on these.  

Trust me.  

Eat it, enjoy... then go workout.  A lot.

No phones were harmed in the making of this delicacy