Lightweight Tea Bread

Sometimes, you just have to have dessert... And when you're a lightweight rower or cox attempting to be smaller, you need to tweak recipes!  Here is my latest tweaking attempt... A rather British one, I daresay.

Lightened Tea Cake

- 400g dried fruit of choice (I used currants and candied peel)

- 250g whole wheat strong flour 

- 250g all purpose flour

- 2 teaspoons baking powder

- 4 eggs

- 600ml brewed black tea

- Stevia or other sweetener (calorie free sugar) to taste, about 25g

Bake in a fan oven at 160C for 40min, or in a non-fan oven at 180C.

Makes 20 slices. Rough nutrition per slice: 176 calories, 5g protein, 35g carbs, 1.5g fat.  Compare to normal tea bread, a slice of which is usually around 320 calories with 10g fat (mmmm butter + sugar + oil)

This makes an absolute huge amount, so I ended up overflowing my cake pan and having to make mini tea cakes...

Darn?

Enjoy!

The Classic: Victoria Sponge

Since I'm pretending to be British and all, it was really becoming a necessity that I bake a Victoria Sponge.

Just to prove that I can bluff my way into being considered a "kind of Brit."

Cue the cake party....

Victoria Sponge

• 250g butter, softened
• 250g caster sugar
• 4 medium eggs
• 2 tsp vanilla extract
• 250g cake/self-raising flour
• dash milk (I used whole, but you can use anything)
• good quality jam
• ready-made whipped cream or double-cream, to whip

'Cream' together the butter and sugar.  This is a fancy way of saying 'beat the crap out of that.'

Add the flour 100g at a time, using a folding maneuver to incorporate it into the butter/sugar mix.  Be patient.  Slow and steady wins the race (only this time).

Now that is some stellar batter consistency.

Line two 8-inch cake tins with baking parchment, and grease the sides.  Do your best to distribute the batter evenly into the two tins.  I swear this is the toughest part of this entire recipe.

Maybe I'm just portion-challenged.

Anyway.

Pop them in the oven at 180C/350F for 20 minutes.  Make sure they're on the same rack, and turn them halfway through cooking to ensure equal browning of the tops.

They're done when you push the top and it springs back, or when a fork piercing the center comes out clean.

Let them cool on wire racks.  Admire your beautiful cake stand, given to you by Caius rowing ladies.

Drool if you have to.

When they're cool, add the jam generously, leaving a one inch gap from the side.  Seriously, though, if they're not cool, you will fail as I did and all will melt approximately 20 minutes after assembly, and one will be forced to remake this at another time.  Depressing.

Spoon on your whipped cream.  Again, leave a one inch gap.  When you smoosh your top layer on, you don't want a weeping whipped cream cake.

Carefully add the top layer.

Admire.

Eat damn soon, or put somewhere cool.  Mine melted like it was in Mordor, so do ensure your kitchen is cool and your cakes are likewise chill!

I didn't take a picture of the hilariously melty blob.  Don't worry, though - it still tasted delicious.

Happy British baking!

French Almond Cake

I've had a bag of almond flour sitting in my cupboard waiting for the right recipe...

It was time.  

French Almond Cake

• 110g unsalted butter, melted
• 120g caster sugar 
• 3 large eggs, beaten
• 90g ground almonds (almond powder/almond flour/almond meal)
• 40g all purpose flour
• 2/3 teaspoon baking powder
• 1 tablespoon milk (any type)
• 1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract 
• Optional: 1 tablespoon flaked almonds for sprinkling
• Icing sugar for dusting

Recipe inspiration: here.

Almond Buttercream Icing

• 25g unsalted butter
• 3 tablespoons milk (any type)
• 1 teaspoon almond extract
• 1 teaspoon cinnamon
• 150g powdered/icing sugar

Makes an 8" cake.

--

Pre-heat your oven to 180C.

Begin by melting the butter (about 50 seconds in the microwave), then add the milk and eggs.  Mix well.  Add the vanilla extract and baking powder.  Add the almond flour, stir well, then add in the all purpose flour.

Grease your cake tin, and pour in the mixture.  

Lick the spoon.

Bake for 15min, then cover the top with foil.  Bake for another 20 - 25minutes.  

It's done when you insert a fork into the middle and it comes out clean.  Let it cool, then either dust with icing sugar or ice with almond buttercream icing!

Optional, but recommended: let giant rowers devour entire cake.

Oatmeal Walnut Cake with Date Caramel

So.  I wanted to make some good ole fashioned oatmeal cookies.  But... my cookie sheet had gone missing. No surprises, there.  I only had a round tin available... cue the CAKE!

Or, well, cookie-esque, dense cake.  With delicious topping.

Oatmeal Walnut Cake with Date Caramel

The Cake

• 2/3 cup unsalted butter (~150g) - thinking you could also do half butter, half greek yogurt.. will need to try.
• 2/3 cup light soft brown sugar
• 2 eggs
• 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
• 2 cups all-purpose flour
• 1 teaspoon baking soda
• 1 teaspoon salt
• 1.5 teaspoons cinnamon
• 3 cups jumbo/large oats (ie, not the porridge kind)
• handful of crushed walnuts

Date Caramel

• 3 handfuls of dates, stoned (I used Whitworths)
• 1/2 cup milk (you may need more/less.  Will describe later)
• 2 tablespoons of light soft brown sugar
• 1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract

--

Preheat your oven to 190C/350F.  Melt your butter in the microwave, then add the flour, brown sugar, salt, cinnamon, baking soda and vanilla.  Stir in the eggs.  Add the oats and walnuts last, making sure to distribute them evenly into the mixture.

Grease your round cake tin before pouring in the mixture.  Place the cake in the oven for roughly 30 minutes.

Pre-icing...

As the cake cooks, make your date caramel!

I had never done this before, so it was mostly a shot in the dark... but it seemed to work well!  Heat a small saucepan on low-to-medium heat, adding 1/4 cup of the milk, the sugar, vanilla and all of the dates.  When it comes to the boil, lower the heat slightly and begin stirring every few seconds.  The dates will begin to soften, at which point you can begin 'smooshing' them with the back of your spoon, thus making the mixture much thicker and smoother.  The dates can't be entirely smooshed, so you will have a few date bits hanging around, but I personally think that's even better!  Continue adding the milk until you reach your desired consistency.  Remove from heat and let cool.

When the cake is semi-cooled, feel free to frost it with your caramel!

Oatmeal cake, pre-icing

As you can see, I also added a bit of desiccated coconut on top for flare...

This buddy should feed a small army.  Or, 8 ravenous individuals.

This cake was a true hit with my rowing comrades.  Three cheers for cake!

CHOCOLATE

Thanks for the page view love, guys.  Means a lot that you care about my dry humour, delicious bread and heart-attack-inducing food.  Keep it coming.

So, Keir visited yesterday, and it was decided that we should make an epic chocolate concoction to celebrate this 2000+ page view mark.  First we thought of replicating a recipe that my best friend and I from the states made last year (slutty brownies), which consists of layers of fudge brownie, chocolate cookie dough and oreos.

However, being lazy, we decided to opt for Rocky Road brownies.  Off to my neighborhood Tesco and Co-Operative we went... only to find that NEITHER HAD COCOA POWDER.  What is this treachery, small food stores?  I had to cave to my worst fear: a boxed mix.

But don't you worry, I doctored it up so it didn't taste like cardboard crap.

Rocky Road Brownies

The Brownies:

• 1 box of Betty Crocker's Fudge Brownie Mix
• 1 egg
• 1/2 tbsp light-colored oil (light olive oil, veg oil, etc)
• 1 tsp vanilla extract
• 1 tbsp granulated sugar
• 8 squares of cooking chocolate, crumbled

The Toppings:

• 2 handfuls of small marshmallows
• 2 handfuls of crushed walnuts
• 2 handfuls of slivered almonds
• 1 crushed KitKat chunky peanut butter (... totally Keir's idea, guys)

Optional Drizzle:

• 1 tbsp smooth peanut butter
• 1 tbsp icing sugar
• 2 tbsp milk (or more - forgot to count... just until it gets drizzle consistency)

Preheat your oven to 180C/350F.

Mix the brownie ingredients together, adding the chopped/smooshed chocolate pieces last.  

Thanks for being such a good hand model, Keir.

Pour into either a greased round baking tin or a square/rectangle glass pan.  Add the toppings one by one, saving the marshmallows for last.  

Bake for roughly 30-35 minutes, or until the thing doesn't "wobble" when you shake the tray.  Sticking a fork into the middle to check if it's done won't work, seeing as these are extremely fudgy brownies... 

This brownie is NOT sponsored by Newton, the Power of Ideas.  It should be though.

Fudgy brownies = the best kind.  The only kind, really.

Sugar Rush

I apologize if this recipe gives any of you early-onset diabetes or, in a slightly less serious case, a raging sugar high.

I'm really only half sorry though, cause these are worth it.

Cue American cinnamon rolls!  These babies don't really exist here.  Sure, there's Cinnabon (the ooey-gooey, heart attack bit of heaven), but in general, most Brits think of the "cinnamon roll" as being more danish-like.  I don't like those flat danishes.  Where's the doughy fun?  Okay, so I do have a dough obsession, but let's be honest - who doesn't?

Overnight Cinnamon Rolls

The Dough

• 1/2 cup milk of your choice (I used almond milk, actually)
• 1/6 cup unsalted butter
• 2 teaspoons dry active yeast
• 1/4 cup granulated sugar
• 2 3/4 cup all purpose flour
• 1/2 teaspoon salt
• 2 medium eggs

The Filling

• 1/2 cup soft, light brown sugar
• 1 1/2 tablespoons of cinnamon
• 1 1/2 tablespoons of flour
• 3 1/2 tablespoons of butter, room temperature

The Icing

• 3/4 cup powdered sugar
• 1/4 cup granulated sugar
• 1/8 cup butter, melted
• 1 tablespoon milk (add more to make it thinner)
• 1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract
• dash salt

This recipe made about 8 rolls, I think.  I used a 9" round pan.

You can also these babies with a cream cheese icing, if you have that on hand.  Equally delicious.

--

In a small sauce-pan, melt the 1/6 cup butter and 1/2 cup milk over medium heat.  

Remove from heat right as it comes to a boil.  In the mean time, in a medium/large bowl, combine 1.5 cups flour and all of the sugar, salt and yeast.  Combine.  Crack in the two eggs; mix well.  

Pour the now lukewarm milk/butter mixture overtop and mix well.  It will be quite wet at this stage.  Start adding the remaining 1.5 cups of flour into the mixture, half a cup at a time.  When it came to add in the last half cup, I discarded the mixing spoon and dove in with my hands... knead away!  Knead until smooth - about 5 minutes.

Let that dough rest in the bowl for 10 minutes.  In the meantime, make your delightful filling.  Combine the filling ingredients in a small bowl, cutting the tablespoons of butter into small pieces.  

Flour your workspace.  Plop the dough onto the surface and begin to punch it into a large rectangle.  I don't do that rolling pin thing... why roll when you have a great excuse to punch things?  Not even a question.

Spread the filling mixture evenly, leaving about an inch of space around the outside of the doughy rectangle.  

Now comes the fun part.  ROLL BABY ROLL.  Make the first roll a very small one, to pinch in the end, and then gently tug/roll until you have one large log.  (I have just realized that "log" might be the most unappetizing word, ever...)

Be smarter than me and actually use a sharp knife to cut the log into segments (you could get 6 large rolls, or about 8 medium rolls).  I couldn't find one and had to opt for a butter knife, which made a lot of the filling go everywhereeeeeeeee.  But that's okay, I just smooshed all of that brown sugary goodness back onto the top of the rolls.  Like a boss.

Place the rolls into a greased 9" round pan, cut-side-up.  

Cover in cling film and place in the fridge overnight.  Now you have to wait.  Probably the longest night of your life.

Alarm goes off.  

Take the cinnamon rolls out of the fridge.  They should've risen a fair bit.  Remove the plastic wrap and place on the counter for about 30 minutes.  I know, I'm pretty much a villain for making you wait so much.

Preheat your oven to 190C/375F.  Bake 'em for about 20 minutes, or until golden brown.  While they're baking, mix up your diabetes-inducing icing.  Melt your butter, then stir in the rest of the ingredients, leaving the milk for last.  Keep adding milk until you have your desired consistency.

Remove cinnamon rolls and immediately douse in icing.  Mmmmmmmmm melty goodness.  Eat them now.  Don't wait.  Are you insane?!

You don't want the nutrition information on these.  

Trust me.  

Eat it, enjoy... then go workout.  A lot.

No phones were harmed in the making of this delicacy

Elvis Presley (Protein) Bread

Everyone knows that Elvis Presley's favorite sandwich in the entire world was fried bananas with peanut butter.  It's a classic.  Well, in America, at least.

So, why not make it into a quick-bread and add some protein, for fun?!

Yes, that is my idea of fun.

Elvis Presley Bread
** = optional

Dry Ingredients:

• 240g (~2 cups) all purpose flour

• 3/4 teaspoon baking soda

• 1/2 teaspoon salt

• **100g your favorite granola (I recommend nutty, rather than fruity)

• **60g your favorite vanilla protein powder (trec is great); if you don't have this, add another tablespoon of flour, plus a teaspoon of vanilla extract

Wet Ingredients:

• 4 small bananas, mashed

• 300g (1/2 cup) chunky peanut butter

• 135ml (1/3 cup) milk of choice

• 15ml (1/4 cup) oil

• 2 eggs

Preheat your oven to 180C/350F.

Mix dry ingredients in a large bowl.  Mash bananas with fork and add to mixture.  Add milk, oil and eggs.  Last, plop (I know, very sophisticated) your peanut butter into the mix.  Mix well.

Generously grease your loaf pan.  I think mine is the normal 9x5 pan?  This baby will stick if you let it, so either line your pan with parchment paper, or use oil to coat the sides.  I use some kind of spray oil that boasts only 1 calorie a spray... what are these miracles?!

Right.  Pour mix into the pan.  It should look something like this:

Place in the oven for roughly 45 minutes.  After 45 minutes, if the top is getting too brown, place a little foil "tent" over top and continue cooking.  It should take roughly 60-75 minutes, in total.  You'll know it's done when a fork, inserted into the middle of the bread, comes out with just a few crumbs attached.

Promptly remove and let cool for 15 minutes.  Once it's semi-cool, turn it over and place on a wire rack, or somewhere where it can "breathe" (aka, not gather any condensation on the bottom) and continue to cool down.  Slice into 20 slices, or, if you're a monster of a human, eat the whole thing.  I'm looking at you, Chris.

Calorie Breakdown:

Per slice, if you cut it into 20 slices

Without optional ingredients: 176 calories, 9.3g fat, 1.5g sat fat, 20g carb, 1.6g fibre, 5.8g protein

With optional ingredients: 210 calories, 10g fat, 1.65g sat fat, 21.4g carb, 1.7g fibre, 8.3g protein

Enjoy!  And, bear in mind the sugars & fats coming from this buddy are from honey, banana and peanut butter - hardly equivalent to most banana breads, which boast tons of brown sugar, granulated sugar, butter and margarine.  This one's a surefire winner.